Sunday, December 21, 2008
Friday, August 08, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
What if it happened more than once??
So... hi everybody. I know it's been a while, and a lot has happened in the time I have been absent. Things that I have wanted to share, but did not due purely to laziness.
I have also started a new blog,
because I still want to blog, but the people who will be reading it now are people that I don't necessarily want to read some of my past posts. So, I will continue with this blog for my more "private" thoughts, such as I really need to get laid. Seriously... I am so ready for it to happen. There is a new guy on my softball team, tall and very, very skinny that I am into. I like skinny, and young too. He's 22. I don't even care if it makes me a perv at 38 to have a 22 year old fuck buddy. I so wanted to ask him to come to my place and "mount me" last weekend at the game. But I settled for a car ride instead. I don't know why, but I am drawn to him in a sexual way.
But anyway, this is not why I'm here today. The title of the post refers to my childhood. Last night right before bed, I was flipping through the channels and I came across the end of "Mysterious Skin". It starts Joseph Gordon Levitt(?) as a hustler who was molested as a child. It's also has another sub story about another boy who was also molested and Joseph's character, at age 8, helped the pedo to get the other boy to cooperate. It's is a good movie, although maybe not so uplifting.
As the credits started rolling, I thought back to when I was little, and a similar thing happened to me. I don't want to give details, but I remember being young, maybe 4 or 5 years old. It wasn't a traumatic episode, the person was someone I knew and trusted. I remember the room where it happened and the things we did.
The question that came to me was: "what if happened more than once...". I was dumbstruck. How at my age could I have never thought of that before? Did happen before or after and I don't remember? Did it? I can't think of a reason that it would matter now to know, I don't know if I would want to know the answer. I am more surprised that I didn't think of it.
And another thing that has always been in my head. It's the nature vs. nurture thing. Was I really born gay, or did the fact that I was molested by another male at such a young age influence me towards homosexuality? I am 99.9% sure that you are born gay. I don't think it's something that can be learned. That it is a choice. I mean, when did all the heteros make that choice?
So... there you have it. I'm back baby!
peace...
I have also started a new blog,
because I still want to blog, but the people who will be reading it now are people that I don't necessarily want to read some of my past posts. So, I will continue with this blog for my more "private" thoughts, such as I really need to get laid. Seriously... I am so ready for it to happen. There is a new guy on my softball team, tall and very, very skinny that I am into. I like skinny, and young too. He's 22. I don't even care if it makes me a perv at 38 to have a 22 year old fuck buddy. I so wanted to ask him to come to my place and "mount me" last weekend at the game. But I settled for a car ride instead. I don't know why, but I am drawn to him in a sexual way.
But anyway, this is not why I'm here today. The title of the post refers to my childhood. Last night right before bed, I was flipping through the channels and I came across the end of "Mysterious Skin". It starts Joseph Gordon Levitt(?) as a hustler who was molested as a child. It's also has another sub story about another boy who was also molested and Joseph's character, at age 8, helped the pedo to get the other boy to cooperate. It's is a good movie, although maybe not so uplifting.
As the credits started rolling, I thought back to when I was little, and a similar thing happened to me. I don't want to give details, but I remember being young, maybe 4 or 5 years old. It wasn't a traumatic episode, the person was someone I knew and trusted. I remember the room where it happened and the things we did.
The question that came to me was: "what if happened more than once...". I was dumbstruck. How at my age could I have never thought of that before? Did happen before or after and I don't remember? Did it? I can't think of a reason that it would matter now to know, I don't know if I would want to know the answer. I am more surprised that I didn't think of it.
And another thing that has always been in my head. It's the nature vs. nurture thing. Was I really born gay, or did the fact that I was molested by another male at such a young age influence me towards homosexuality? I am 99.9% sure that you are born gay. I don't think it's something that can be learned. That it is a choice. I mean, when did all the heteros make that choice?
So... there you have it. I'm back baby!
peace...
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