I've made a huge mistake...

My favorite line from Arrested Developement. It feels appropriate to my current situation. It’s been a while since I posted last. I have rarely been in the mood to share, in fact I’m not in the mood now but I will anyway.

A Big Mistake:
I now believe that it was a mistake to let my apartment go without having a new one to go to. Staying at my brother’s is ok, but I don’t like being a burden, and I’m a grown man. I should have my own place to live.

A Bigger Mistake:
A few weeks ago I ran out of my Prozac pills about 5 days before payday. Since I didn’t have the money to refill the prescription, and I had been feeling pretty good for a while, I decided to just stop taking them. I was wrong. When I first started taking them over a year ago, one of the side effects was that I had insomnia. I could fall asleep right away, but wake up about 30 minutes later and stay up for hours. I am luckily one of those people who fall asleep with minutes of lying down. Insomnia is not good for me.

Well, a few days after I stopped taking the pills, the insomnia came back. Now on top of not being able to sleep, I was getting moody too. I wasn’t very pleasant to be around. I get quiet when I am down. Today I haven’t spoken much at all. In fact, I was just asked by Mr. Republican "Why the Clint Eastwood face?" I guess because I'm not my jovial self right now.

The Biggest Mistake:
I can’t go into this one too much, at least online. It has to do with my ex-wife and some of the things I agreed to in our divorce. Growl….

So in closing, I’m sorry I haven’t been around lately. Been dealing with crap and crap emotions to go along with them. Things have happened, even good things. Toddy made me cry, but in a good way when I needed it most. Maybe I will elaborate on that later. Also, this past weekend I was forced to watch parts of a movie called "Lesbian Lovers." It was awful. I never wanted to see that nasty gash again (no offense if you have one). My brothers said it was in intervention. To bring me back to the straight and narrow. It didn't work. I have never been more sure of anything as I was watching 2 women perform... things on each other.

Hugs… jeff
I've made a huge mistake...