Randomness...

First of all, I need to start with a picture. I found this surfing a couple of days ago on the Live Journal picture page (it’s in my list of links). I could, and do, waste hours refreshing this page. I’m kind of a voyeur I guess. Any ways... I saw this and it made me laugh, really hard. And now each time I open it and see it again, I laugh just as hard. Maybe it’s just me, it makes me smile.




I hard to work again today at the second job. And this time I loaded a bunch of Todd & Pony shows on my ipod so I was ready. There each about an hour long, so the time really passed quickly. Again I was laughing all by myself in a quiet room, but at least no one else was there today to hear me.

While I was driving home I was thinking about making a blog entry, and here are some of my thoughts: when I first started this, and for a long time after, I assumed that I was the only one reading it. So it didn’t matter to me if I put down whatever was in my head. Usually it was depressing things, occasionally upbeat, but not often. Then people started reading it and commenting on what I was saying. Then, I lost my internet connection and stopped blogging for a while, and now no one is commenting anymore. So I don’t know if anyone is even reading this anymore. I haven’t been posting a lot lately, I don’t want all my post to be moody and whiny. I’m afraid it will turn people off and they won’t read anymore.

But, I should just forget that, and go back to putting down my thought and what I’m going through. Since I don’t have a person in my life I can talk to about deep issues, this is kind of my way of getting things out of me, like talking with a friend.

On that note, softball season is here. I have been saying since last summer when the season ended that I would sign up this year and play. It sounded like a good idea at the time. But now I have to actually do it. The first meet and greet is today at 4:00. I have to go and be the new person around a bunch of strangers. Toddy will be there, but I don’t want to just hang on to him. It wouldn’t be fair to him. I mean I do want to hang on to him, but I know better.

I am very nervous about this. I have a gift of denial though. I can deny almost anything if I want to. Right up until the very last moment. That is what I am doing today.

I hate being the new guy. I also worry that I’ll get picked last for a team. I have all these visions of junior high gym class where it was horrible. I don’t want to be the weak link on a team. I don’t want to let my teammates down by striking out or dropping a ball or having a heart attack from being out of shape. Give me any situation, I can find a way to be nervous about it. I’ll let you know how it goes.

New Subject -

I don’t know if anyone has noticed yet, but I tend to be a little on the pessimistic side of life. When I think about my life and my past, I always think of the things I wish I had done, or done differently. So I was thinking on the drive home today that I should make a list of all the thought in my head on my blog. I could list everything that I regret, that I missed out on doing, wrong decisions. I would start with the bad list first, of course, because that’s what I always focus on. Then I would do a list of the positives in my life. I know I have some, probably a lot if I sat down and listed them, but they don’t come up when I’m thinking about my life.


I’m not going to do it now because this is already too long, and I need to go get ready to go to the softball thing.

I will leave you with this though... a picture of my new house in the burbs. We will be moving in next weekend. I can’t wait...