oh holy fucking jesus christ...

on a cross...

I did it. I went and reached out to someone. Someone who is actually within driving distance. I am going to meet him at CC SLaughters tonight. At 7:30. OMG... I need to calm down. My stomach is all kinds of fucked up right now. Why am I so nervous? He seems like a really nice guy. I have been reading his blog for a while and he isn't an axe murderer. I don't think :) Talk about being out of your comfort zone. I was going to meet him tomorrow night, but he offered to meet today also, so I took him up on it. You know that feeling when you've done soemthing wrong, maybe it's guilt. It sits in your stomach and just kinda boils. That what I am feeling right now. Not becasue I did anything wrong, I know I didn't and the thought never crossed my mind when thinking about this, it's just the closest way to describe how I am feeling. Oh yeah, besides all the nervousness, I am excited too. I am going to meet someone in person who could be a firend. There is potential there. Someone to go out with... to the movies... to eat... to play. Oh my... I'm nervous again. I forgot about it for a minute there.

One more funny thing. I'm having dinner tonight with my mom and I called to tell her I was going to eat and run, I had plans for tonight. She asked if I had a hot date (a joke because apparently everyone knows I've been a hermit) I told her I was meeting someone but it wasn't a date. That gave her pause. I told her I was going to meet someone as a friend. Then she told me to make sure and check his card to make sure he doesn't have the AIDS. (don't be offended)Hillarious. I love my mom. She makes me laugh. What a way to show her concern. What are these AIDS cards? Should I get one too? Is it like a credit card, or library card?

Ha, I'm nervous again. I forgot again. It keeps coming back. I know I will be fine. It's just the unknown that is so scary. What if I clam up and can't think of anything to say? What if ask something inapropriate? Like for his AIDS card? :) It's going to be OK... I'm going to get all Zen about this. There is nothing to worry about... it will be a fun night af getting to know someone new. There that's better. Oh fuck, it's time to go. I'm nervous again...