It's finally happening!!!!

They'll be here within the hour!! The boys are coming back!! WOO HOO!! I am very excited. I am going to squeeze them so hard, but Sam squeezes me back harder now. They are all mine for 2 month!! I don't have to work tomorrow, we can spend the day together playing around and goofing off. it's been a long year, with short visits here and there, but now, I get 2 months. Fuck yeah!

I also went out again with Toddy tonight. Funny how it ended up being Towel Tuesday again. Who knew? :) I met more new people today. Holly was right, there is a friendly community out there waiting to let you in. I was so afraid it would be full of pretty people saying that I don't belong. But it hasn't been anything like that at all. Not that the people aren't pretty, there was a cowboy singing kareoke tonight who was very hot. But his attitude wasn't all that great, so he went down hill in my book. I saw Pony again, I like him. He comes across as a fun guy. I met Danny and Sean ( I think) and Micheal and Stephen. All seemed very nice.

I think I talked more this time than last time. I know I was still awful quiet. Toddy and I had some dinner and we ended up sitting with some other people. They were very nice and funny, but they were new, so I clammed up. I really hat ehta tI do that. I want to be open and I want to sing with the rest of them, I just am not at that point yet. And, I have decided for today, I'm not going to beat myself up for being quiet. If I sit back and think rationally on this whole going out thing that is happening to me, just the fact that i actually leaving the house to meet people, knowing there will be strangers there is a huge accomplishment. I think tonight I will revel in that. I am finally stepping out of my comfort zone, and it isn't as terrible as I thought it would be. It isn't terrible at all. I wasn't even nervous about going in the bar tonight. Not even a little. Wow, is this really me?

I will probably back off going out a lot with the boys here. but there will be sleepovers at grandmas house and cousins houses. When that happens, I will plan to go out.

THEY"RE HERE!!!!!!