Not a depressing entry

I am going to post today, and it's not about doom and gloom. Fro whatever reason, it seems the darkness has left. At least for 2 days now. Here's hoping it stays gone.

So last night I went out and met Toddy at CC's. A grand time was had by all. I got to meet several new people, friends of Toddy’s, and they were all great. There was Marylyn (sp, Toddy’s very good friend and housemate, with her new girlfriend crap I forgot her name. She was great. This was my first experience with lesbians. What a hoot. I really liked them.

Doug was there from the softball team and stayed for a while to hang out. That was fun. He had some great stories to tell. There was also Cal and his friend (maybe boyfriend? Jay. They were a little ways away from us though, so we kind of had separate conversations, but when it got load, we all talked together.

The best, best part of the night for me was when everybody left except me and Toddy. Not because I want to be antisocial and didn't like them, I really did and had fun with them. But for the first time last night, I got to have a real conversation with Todd just the 2 of us. It was nice, somewhat serious and funny at the same time. I got to ask him specific questions about sex
and things of that nature. Another new experience for me. To openly talk about sex with another gay guy. I've had sex talk with the guys before. "Yeah, I fucked her" but not a real conversation. Thank you Toddy, that was what I have needed for so long, just someone to talk with.

Next Sunday is a bingo fundraiser for the softball team. I am going to go and have a great time. Doug and Todd also asked me to join the team next spring. I am actually considering it. Me... playing softball with other hunky gay men... I'll have to ask if we get to take group showers. That might seal the deal!

And just because I have to mention my moods, I have been upbeat for the last couple of days, but I have to consciously work at it. It's hard to explain, but it's like there is something inside me wanting to drag me down. I am not having bad thoughts, or hearing depressing songs, but I just subconsciously want to be down. WTF
I think I may need to get my happy pills checked, maybe the dosage is wrong or I need to switch again. The boys just left so I don't know if it related to that or not.

Anyway, things are good. I am going to clean my apartment tonight. Woo Hoo