it started with a 1...

OMG! OMG! OMG!

It happened! It finally happened! When I got n the scale this morning, it started with 1. I'm under 200 pounds. OMG! 199.6, but I'm not over 200 anymore. Holy shit! I didn't think this would actually happen. I knew it could, if I did the right things, but I have never done the right things before. I can feel and see a difference in my big Buddha belly. It is shrinking. Of course it is still rather bulbous, but progress has been made. I am very happy right now. I have been over the 200 mark for several years now, probably at least 5 if not more. Finally getting the depression under some control has helped extensively. But, it is because of the diabetes that the change has been made. More to the point, it is because I told my mom about the diabetes, at Hollys suggestion. Eating dinners with her for the past few weeks has really done wonders for me. I am eating well in the morning, lunch is better than before, mostly subway sandwiches. I need to start packing my lunch, then I will be in even more control over my food intake.

I told mom about loosing 14 pounds yesterday and thanked her profusely for her help, and she said that she is loosing weight again, 2 pounds last week, so by us working this together, it is showing benefits. It's all very exciting.

I have a lead on a job. It is through a tempo agency, but it is a temp to hire position. So after 3 months, the company will either let you go or hire you. I have no doubt in my abilities that i would be hired at the end of 3 months. It is something I could do rather easily. The bad part is the pay is $2.50 less than i make now. What to do? I doubt I will get that much in unemployment, and i need to have insurance to cover the diabetes. It's all very confusing. We'll see what happens next week.

Since I'm rambling on today, let me tell you about work yesterday. I finally had the chance to sit down with Stephen, on of my bosses and discuss what he wants form me for the month of February. Now that is almost over. I didn't care for it very much. He said that he expects more of me, and if I want any kind of future with them, I will have to be more proactive and professional. He wouldn't use the word professional, but he couldn't find a synonym for it he wanted. It was clear what he was saying. He asked about inventory levels, and I had done an informal count and had the numbers on my tablet. He asked for some I didn't count beforehand, so I went back and counted them. He said that this is what he was talking about. He wants a report, with the company logo, very professional, etc. Not the handwritten notes that I give him. Oh yeah, and I wasn't to take this personally. Well I did, fucker. There is a whole new manufacturing system that is almost ready to go. But he couldn't make it work on my PC, and told me in the first week that that will be on hold for a while. He was too busy writing code to fix it. Well fine, I will make do with keeping myself busy. He said he was unhappy to hear me say that I was running out of things to do, but he didn't tell me what he wanted! I did what he told me. Build up to a level of 30 units. OK, I did that, but now he wants to be ready to build 30 more units at the drop of that hat. If I had known that, I would have been working on it. But he didn't tell me until yesterday. So now I have a list of things to do and I am working steadily through them. Oh, and the new system is mine to figure out and make work. I will have to do it in his office. Ok, that's not a big deal. It is frustrating that he is unhappy with my work, I did what I was supposed to and did it without direction.

He said if I polish my work results, there will be opportunities to move into more things with them, like writing procedures and other things like that. It pisses me off that I was left floundering for half a month and then judged as less than because I didn't do what I didn't know I was supposed to, or that he told me was on hold. A very big part of me wanted to tell him to fuck off. But I am a grown up, and that wouldn't be the right thing to do. So, I will do what he asked, and I will knock it out of the park, as I am capable of doing, then I can tell him to fuck off. :)

This rant almost harshed my buzz over the whole starting with a 1, but then I remembered and my joy came back.

i'm off....