mind numbing boredom

I am going out of my mind. I have been sitting here all day trying to milk a mornings worth of work to last all day. I was supposed to talk to the boss today and see what his plans are for me for the rest of the month. It didn't happen. Fuck, after today, I really won't have anything to do. I'm going nuts here. I need to be busy.

My job search is still quiet. (crickets) I am going to talk to a temp agency tomorrow. There was a job for $17.00 an hour that I could easily do, but they said it is not really that much. It would already be $2.00 less than I am making now, and if it is lower, I don't know if it's worth it. Here is the delima. Do I sit it out and collect unemployment until I find a new job? I don't have any idea how long that will take. Or do I take any job I can find for now and keep looking while I collect a paycheck? What about health insurance??? I kind of need that now, since I got the diabetes. What to do? What to do? I wish I knew. Fuck.

In other news... I called the boys on Tuesday and Matt was sitting in front of the computer. I asked him if he had the webcam set up yet, and he said that they couldn't make it work. So I walked him through setting it up. Which was not that easy, Matt's speech problem is worse over the phone. But we got it done, and I was able to see them! I can't tell you how good that made me feel. Just the phone calls were getting to be not enough for me. I was really starting to get down about missing them. But now I can see them while we talk. I was so excited that the next day I went out and bought a webcam for me. So last night we got to talk and we could see each other. It's is very exciting for me.

I called Joe and had him set up his webcam too. (I bought Joe's and Jim's kids webcams for Christmas) I will call Jim tonight and get him to hook his up. It will be pretty cool to have all these little windows open with family in each of them. I'm pretty pumped about this.

I am still eating good. Not perfect, but way better than before. I did have a kung pow chicken last week. I know that's not good for me. WAY too much rice, but it's good and I was really good the next day also. I have lost 14 pounds over the last 6-8 weeks. Unbelievable! Well, not really. I always knew all I had to do was actually eat correctly. Think about what it would be if I was going to the gym like I am supposed to. I almost did this morning, but at the last minute, I laid back down and slept. Wrong decision. I was awake at 6:00, when I woke up at 7:00, I was tired, and it took ne all morning to wake up. That must be my punishment for skipping the gym again. Tonight I will get everything ready to go and just get up and leave tomorrow.

I saw Holly last night. She hasn't read my blog for a week, so I didn't have to talk to her about Tim. I was worried she would bring it up. But she didn't, so neither did I. I wonder if she will next week.

You know what else sucks? I am just starting to be ready to go out more, but without a job, I can't afford to. Which is just another rationalization. I can order one drink and milk it all night. I was looking for volunteer oprotunities today, but I didn't see any that really jumped out at me. I will look again when I have more time. Not that I don't now, but I am at least trying to look busy.

30 minutes to go...