I did it. Oh my god. I did it. It wasn't nearly as bad as I was afraid it would be. I knew it wouldn't be, but irrational fear is just that, irrational. I am focusing on the positive. I was able to do it. I went in, and had a drink. I didn't talk to anyone though. I'm not too upset over that. It would have been great if it happened, but just getting in there was a HUGE accomplishment for me. It wasn't very crowded, thank god. I went in and it didn't look like there was an open spot at the bar. There were groups of people with one empty stool between groups, so I went to one of them and ordered a drink. I should have stayed right there, then I would have had a chance to talk to someone, probably. But I noticed there was part of the bar I didn't see at first and took my drink down to the end of the bar, where no one was, and surveyed the room. I needed a minute to calm down. The problem was that I isolated myself from the rest of the people, then I couldn't get up the stones to go up to anyone who was alone. I drank my drink way too fast, so I ordered another one. I drank that one too fast too. I stayed for about 15 minutes in total. So, the 2 negatives are I didn't talk to anyone, and I didn't stay that long. But fuck the negatives. I did it. Next time will be different.
It's the catch 22 thing again. I don't want to go alone, it's too intimidating. But I need someone to go with. My niece's husband offered to go with me. I am going to try and get a hold of him and take him up on the offer. If someone is with me, I will be able to stay longer and relax, I think.
I'm going to go bask in my glory now...
p.s. they play porn on the TV sets in there... hardcore... oh my
p.s. 2 - I took a souvenir to prove that I went... in case anyone suspects me of lying... :)
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