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Here he is. This is Billie Joe Armstrong. I haven't been able to get him out of my head since I read he was bisexual. It's one thing to lust after hot guys, but when the hot guys are on the same team, it makes it even better. I don't know why, but it does.

Now that that's over, let's talk about my mood swings again. Come on, I know I'm being repetitive, but so what. Fuck off if you don't want to hear it again. My afternoon went pretty well, I was in a better place after lunch. But when I left early to go see the doctor, my mood just dropped, like a stone. I have no idea why. I didn't hear a sad song or any of the normal stuff that gets to me.

I think I know what it is, at least partially. I was excited for the weekend. Like way back when I was a normally adjusted person. You work all week to get to the weekend, then you have a great time. When I left work I was all jazzed up for the weekend, and then I realized that I have nothing to be jazzed up about. I have no one to play with, or go out with or even talk to. I am a lonely motherfucker. And then that makes me feel like a loser, what kind of a person doesn't have any friends? A fucked up one, that's who. I know, I know, I'm a great guy, anyone would be more than happy to have me as a friend. How do I find them? I know I actually have to leave the apartment, but I can't go to a gay bar, too much judging. I am not a perfect specimen, and gay guys are way worse than women when it comes to judging a book by it's cover. Fuck...

I did something I haven't done in years tonight. I decided to get trashed. I went to the liquor store and bought some Midori Melon liquor. I am going to drink Midori Sours until I puke (hope not). I know this will not make me feel any better, it may make it worse. Drinking alone... what a life I have carved out for myself.